Happy Holidays from the Hendersons!
From Ted and Jenny, And Mike and Penny,
To those we love the most!
Another year has passed, A year goes by so fast!
Forgive us if we boast, But we had a lovely year!
You may have heard and it’s a fact In January, Ted was sacked.
His job was shipped to Bangalore. So Teddy started drinking more
To keep his wounded pride intact And show he didn’t care.
Oh, we had a lovely year!
While shoveling an icy slope Poor Jenny fell, the clumsy dope.
But she was saved from surgery: We can’t afford the surgeon’s fee.
Now Jenny limps and tries to cope With Vicodin and prayer—Amen!
Oh, we had a lovely year!
March was rotten! So March is best forgotten.
We agree no pouting is allowed
Though ev’ry silver lining seems to have a cloud.
A freak tornado struck in May And blew our shingle roof away.
The portico was leveled flat, The children really miss the cat—MEOW!
But drunken Ted survived the fray Still passed out in his chair.
Oh, we had a lovely year!
The summer brought West Nile disease, A drought, a fire and killer bees.
We sent the kids to live with Gram; She smokes and doesn’t give a damn
She let the kids drink daiquiris. Till Mike fell down the stair!
Yet we had a lovely year!
Then September! We’d rather not remember!
Life’s a bowl of cherries, so they say;
If cherries come with pits, well, that’s the price you pay.
Last fall the Market took a dive, But what the heck, we’re still alive!
Thanksgiving found us indisposed, We lost the house, the bank foreclosed.
We kept the car we cannot drive: We have to sleep somewhere.
Oh, we had a lovely year!
Each Christmas is the season when We join with kith and kin again.
But Penny up and ran away And Mike’s in rehab till next May
While Ted is serving eight to ten: The judge was tough but fair.
So we had a lovely year!
Happy Holidays from the Hendersons To those we hold most dear!
You’ll understand us when we say On New Year’s Day we’ll hide away.
With all the blessings we’ve enjoyed We’re quite determined to avoid
Another lovely year!